The Japanese Wife

Ours is a huge country.
Almost a continent in itself.
Filled with so many cultures.
But as five families, one each from the north, south, east, west and centre, testify, it's all India. All oursOURS IS A HUGE country. Almost a continent in itself.
Filled with so many cultures. But as five families, one each from the north, south, east, west and centre, testify, it's all India. All ours IN SHILLONG The Japanese Wife KENNETH PALA & CAROLINE MUKHIM (WITH DAUGHTER ALETHEA AND SON BRENDON) UN OFFICIAL AND DOCTOR, MEGHALAYA `THAT WE LIVE IN THE MOST DIVERSE COUNTRY ON EARTH MAKES OUR EXISTENCE ALL THE MORE MEANINGFUL'
IF YOU SNIFF GUJARATI VAGHAAR at 4,900 ft, it is likely wafting in from quarter number L10 in Shillong's North Eastern Hill University (NEHU) complex. And it will be 39-year-old Caroline Mukhim preparing panchkutiya shaak (fivevegetable curry) to go with khatta-meetha bhaat (sour-sweet rice). Caroline agrees that Gujarati khana needs a lot of getting used to. The three years she spent in Ahmedabad when her husband Kenneth Pala was transferred there in 1998 made her so accustomed to the cuisine that she often gives her family a Gujarati break from jadoh, a pilaf-like Khasi staple, and dohkhleh (pork) or dohsiar (chicken).
Kenneth, 41, prefers Maharashtrian cuisine; he developed the taste via his local guardians during an earlier stint in Ahmedabad. But food should be relished, not fought over. So the couple and their daughter Alethea, 9, and son Brendon, 8, discovered a `middle path' ­ south Indian food ­ thanks to their Tamil neighbour.
Caroline, a doctor in NEHU, and Kenneth, a Shillong-based monitoring and evaluation manager at the UN-affiliated International Fund for Agriculture Development, encountered the indigestible while adapting to `mainland' fare. In Gujarat, people would often confuse Shillong with Ceylon. The height was when a nationalised bank manager turned down their home loan application because he thought Caroline was Japanese. “I took a long time convincing him we were as Indian as he was, but I couldn't buy a flat in Ahmedabad,“ says Kenneth. “But there are no hard feelings; as much as other Indians need to be more sensitive about the country's fringes, the onus is on us to sensitise them.“
The couple attribute their adaptability to their schooling and their liberalism to their families. “Most schools in Shillong don't allow you to mingle with your own kind during breaks,“ says Caroline. Their children have Hindi as their second language and not Khasi because `Hindi offers more opportunities'.
Caroline is good in Hindi English, Khasi and Assamese; Kenneth's Hindi is kaam-chalau and his Gujarati has suffered in 10 years away from the state.
Plus, adds Caroline, “We socialise a lot, visiting kin, friends and acquaintances.“ Socialising adds `a bit of music' to the rhythm of their life.
“Shillong offers that extra bit beyond responsibilities. We drive to Mawphlang (a nature trail in a sacred grove 30 km from Shillong or Umiam (a lake 20 km from Shillong) occasionally. And we make it a point to go on a long vacation at least once a year,“ says Kenneth.
Their last trip was to Kerala. “We have gone everywhere except Kashmir and Haryana, but we prefer southern India because the people there are nicer and we freak out on south Indian food,“ says Caroline. On a trip to Kolkata, Kenneth was indoctrinated to the world of Hindi films. The family watched 3 Idiots, their first Hindi film together. “We like Aamir Khan and Kareena Kapoor,“ she says.
Caroline and Kenneth are proud to be Khasis as well as Indians. They feel their uniqueness as a matrilineal community enriches India's multi-ethnic tapestry. “That we live in the most diverse country on earth makes our existence all the more meaningful,“ says Kenneth.
Of course Meghalaya has long experienced rebel-imposed boycotts on Independence Day. “But things are changing; a local organisation has been promoting intra-state tourism on that day,“ says Kenneth. India has changed too in the last couple of decades.
“Blame it on communication and the change in mindset of the younger generation exposed to globalisation,“ he adds.